Letterman's (Ahem) "Late Nights" at the Office

In the spirit of David Letterman's Top Ten Lists

......

Ed Sullivan Theater

Number 10:

Too bad Hugh Grant doesn't have a show. He could have had you on to chrome://foxytunes-public/content/signatures/signature-button.pngapologize to America.

Number 9:

For those of us who haven't given you your wedding gift yet, is it OK if we take it  back?

Number 8:

Who takes checks anymore? Hasn't your extortionist ever heard of a Swiss bank account?

Number 7:

We know you love cigars. Please say you did not follow in the footsteps of a certain ex-president and his antics with said tobacco product.

Number 6:

Yes, siree. The Palins are feeling mighty smug right about now. You betcha.

Number 5:

You've given bold new hope to sixty-something men across America.

Number 4:

Was it love at Stupid Pet Trick?

Number 3:

My, oh my. What will they think of this at the Home Office in Sioux City, Iowa?

Number 2:

Next time, get Joaquin Phoenix to help you break the news to your audience.

Number 1:

Are you sure you weren't just hiking on the Appalachian Trail?