In the spirit of David Letterman's Top Ten Lists
Too bad Hugh Grant doesn't have a show. He could have had you on to chrome://foxytunes-public/content/signatures/signature-button.pngapologize to America.
For those of us who haven't given you your wedding gift yet, is it OK if we take it back?
Who takes checks anymore? Hasn't your extortionist ever heard of a Swiss bank account?
We know you love cigars. Please say you did not follow in the footsteps of a certain ex-president and his antics with said tobacco product.
Yes, siree. The Palins are feeling mighty smug right about now. You betcha.
You've given bold new hope to sixty-something men across America.
Was it love at Stupid Pet Trick?
My, oh my. What will they think of this at the Home Office in Sioux City, Iowa?
Next time, get Joaquin Phoenix to help you break the news to your audience.
Are you sure you weren't just hiking on the Appalachian Trail?